Rest In Peace Mac Miller

Two days later and its still hard to fathom that he is really gone.I have been going to sleep for the past 2 days thinking that i have been able to finally come to terms with the fact that he has passed on but every morning,i still wake up with the same feeling of disbelief. Its still all so surreal.

I started listening to Mac Miller when i was going through possibly one of the toughest times of my life,about 4 years ago. Prior to me actually getting into his music, I had always liked watching his interviews a lot,but i never really gave his music a chance. The reason i liked watching his interviews was that he was always such a lively,happy soul in the interviews.He was a such a carefree soul and that positive energy always rubbed off of me,although i was not listening to much of his music.Despite all his interviews that i binge watched on YouTube,the struggle to really get into music still went on. I was struggling to understand how i could like a musician so much from his interviews but not his music.This was when he had WMWTSO and Faces out,before my anxiety and depression issues started,so now that i think about it,the reason i was struggling to get into his music was that i could not relate that much to it.

As it was the universe aligning things,the first Mac Miller song that i got into was Best Day Ever ,from the Best Day Ever mix-tape,around the same time that my anxiety and depression issues started.Perfect timing one might say. Best Day Ever was my anthem, a song i found solace in during difficult mornings when i would wake up at 3 am and struggle to fall asleep again.It was always on repeat during those dark and cold mornings,keeping me company at a time when it seemed like i was alone in the world. After i got into BDE,i decided that hey,"Mac's old music really makes me feel good about myself for a change,so let me get his other old stuff",so i hit the internet to find out as much of his old stuff as i could. The first tape i laid my hands on was But My Mackin' Ain't Easy from back in 2007 when he called himself Easy Mac. I instantly fell in love with it,the goofy,stoner,care free kind of rap being the main reason. Songs like Cruisin',Js On My Feet and I'm In Love With This Bud reminded me of the good ol high school days when things were easier, and those feelings of nostalgia got me through a lot of dark nights.

I continued to rummage the internet for more Mac Miller,and the next tape i got my hands on was the K.I.D.S mix-tape from back in 2010,which is my favorite Mac Miller work of all time. From the first listen,and i'm not exaggerating when i say this, K.I.D.S changed my life for forever. During the time i got ahold of it, my anxieties and depressions were at their peak. I was struggling to sleep,had secluded myself from most of my friends,and at the back of my mind,though the feeling was not what i would say concrete,i was contemplating suicide. I was at a point where i felt like my life was  a futile undertaking. I felt as if i was alive but was not really living. Feelings of nothingness had taken me hostage and if i had not discovered K.I.D.S then,i am scared to think what could have come of me. K.I.D.S was the soundtrack to my life,my gospel.It was not like it offered me advice about how to deal with my issues or anything,but what it offered,like most of his old work,was a nostalgic feeling of high school when life was still enjoyable.K.I.D.S was the only thing i listened to for almost 4 months straight after i got it. K.I.D.S got me through what i know for sure that no one or anything could have helped me to go through.I used to listen to Senior Skip Day,The Spins,Good Evening,All I Want Is You,Face In The Crowd religiously,every single day.

From K.I.D.S,every single Mac Miller tape that i found was a favorite. I used to bump Another Night,from his mixtape The High Life, every Friday and Saturday evenings when i was alone with my toxic thoughts,and it held my hand during those difficult times. The Jukebox was another tape which had an incredibly positive effect on my life.From Macadelic,i fell in love with songs like Fight The Feeling,Loud and The Question. The next album i listened to on my journey of Mac Miller discovery was Watching Movies With The Sound Off. Unlike his older work,which was goofy and carefree,this album was more intimate and personal,and for that reason,i fell in love with it also. WMWTSO made me feel like i was not alone in my sunken place,that there was someone too fighting the same fight that i was fighting,and that somewhat gave me more courage to not let myself go but to keep fighting.Songs like YouForia, Avian, I'm Not Real and The Star Room were incredibly relatable and gave me an immense sense of belonging,despite them being what can be considered "dark". Apart from being relatable,WMWTSO also had groovy songs like Gees and Watching Movies which from time to time,helped to quieten the demons which had taken over my head.

It was during the period of listening to WMWTSO that i finally, because of some divine intervention,that i finally managed to get over my issues. Despite this victory,i still continued to religiously listen to Mac Miller up to the point he passed on because i did not like his music and how it made me feel or what it helped me get through,but also liked him as a person,the energy he was always resonating despite the struggles he was dealing with. When i first heard Swimming,his last album,i really thought it was a victory over his struggles, and that made me happy because i thought,the guy who helped me cope with so much has finally found a way to cope also. Songs like Self Care and 2009 sounded like confirmations of victory,but unfortunately that was not the case. Listening to them now,his immense artistic talent shows,looking at the fact that he managed to make such a beautiful album despite still having to deal with his struggles.

Mac Miller has dropped a truckload of music,a whole lot of which i did not mention above because if i had,this blog post would have gone on for infinity and beyond,and every single one of those have been beautiful works of art which have had nothing but a positive impact on my life. His evolution as an artist,from the goofy rapping on But My Mackin Ain't Easy to a soulful,jazzy type of rap on Swimming,is nothing short of amazing. I was not Mac Miller's close friend,i have never been to a single one of his shows,but he still had such an immense impact on my life,so i can but imagine the effect he had on his friends and family and how they are feeling at this time of loss.But i just want to let them know that their loved one impacted on and changed the lives of not only me,but a whole lot of others like me as well. His light,through his music and his personality, shone over us when days were dark,and the least we can do for the McCormick family and friends is to wish that the same light shines over them during this difficult time.